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Why do I need a new moms group? | Print |  E-mail
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The benefits of connecting with new moms’ groups
We get the funniest ideas when we’re pregnant for the first time. All the motherhood books — and our veteran parent friends who suffer from amnesia brought on by the passage of time — let on that those first months after the baby comes home will be pure bliss. Sleep-deprived but fulfilled, we’ll nest in peaceful solitude while the world whizzes by outside.

So a lot of new moms are disappointed when one-on-one time with their babies turns to loneliness. It’ll be awhile before your newborn will pay much attention to you. The parade of visitors from the first few weeks has died down. Mothers and mothers-in-law go home. Old friends get busy and don’t want to talk about soothing, swaddling and the color of poop as much as you suddenly want to.

Experts say a feeling of isolation among new mothers is very common. At moments it feels like you’re the only person in the world who’s ever been through this. The danger is that this feeling might lead to worse things, such as anxiety and post-partum depression.

Joining a new moms’ group, regardless of what kind you choose, can help you get oriented and give you some relief. A new moms’ group will let you:

  •  Make new kinds of friends. You’ve always looked for friends that had things in common with you. Becoming a mom opens up new social opportunities. Now you might find that you connect with different kinds of people than you ever would have befriended before, just because you’re mothers.


  •  Cope with changing relationships. Your current friendships can get weird after you have a baby. Sometimes it feels like everybody you know is speaking a different language than you. You might get frustrated with your friends for not understanding, or they might get bored hearing about mommy stuff. When you can get support from a new moms’ group, you’ll have enough energy to keep up with your other friendships, and won’t feel the need to only talk about the baby.


  •  Relieve your anxiety. When you have a newborn, the minutes crawl by at an excruciatingly slow pace. That’s why when the baby won’t sleep, or isn’t eating normally, or won’t stop crying, you start to feel like it’s a permanent condition — that the baby will never sleep again. Talking through your concerns and questions with women who are going through the same thing may not give you the proven answer, but it helps you understand that these concerns are normal and gives you some creative new ideas to try.
  •  Take it easy on yourself. Unlike in other cultures, American moms are under a ton of pressure to adapt quickly and go back to doing it all, being the perfect housekeeper, friend, spouse and employee on top of being the perfect mother. A moms’ group lets you relax. Admit that you don’t know what you’re doing and ask for sympathy, support and advice. Just taking that step goes a long way to fighting the baby blues and getting the hang of this motherhood thing.



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